i just saw my grades. i got 3 notches down from my expected grades. i'm so devastated sa theories of personality, 3 lang! LANG!

wah. nakakaiyak. parang i didn't give any effort to study. wah, i am so disappointed. i'm not sure but am i not putting enough effort? i just hate this feeling that i failed to give any effort when in fact, i voluntarily sacrificed the well being of my eyes just to read that stupid book over and over again.

hay. i'm so disappointed. sobra! i suppose i'm being too lenient with regards to my studies!!! ayoko na ng tres. have to study.

what have gone wrong? i've been studying yeah but my concentration's a little offbeat. i study and play at equal time but when i study i'm not "into it". i'm losing my focus. i'm not studying hard enough. so parang nagiging all play na lang lahat. what else?! i tend to be lax, thinking it's nothing but it's really something. going back, it's being too lenient. it's the same problem. mas nag-aaral pa ako nung highschool. tv's not a problem and so as the telephone and the cellphone. i don't even watch tv anymore and i hardly communicate with my highschool friends. i don't even go out frequently, debuts lang or occasional malling. in class? doesn't listen intently. aha! talks with my seatmates often. stop doing that anymore, that's so highschool! i got to be more serious. nerd na kung nerd. concentrate harder, gayahin si naruto. if he will be a hokage, i will be a dean's lister. just got to learn to concentrate. i'm going to start to be hard on myself from now on. if i don't get what i aimed to get, i'm going to get a punishment. a tooth for a tooth and eye for an eye.

on the other hand, i don't think everyone who got a 3 on this subject deserve what they got. some studied a lot harder than i did but we got the same grade.


life's so incomprehensible!


_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

The Bottom Line
Approaching the pinnacle of a mountain? Look at how far you've climbed! Keep going.

In Detail
If anyone is innately self-confident, it's you. Still, you've had the urge to make some physical changes on and off lately, and it's back again in full force. Well, what's the holdup? You know where you are and where you want to be. That's the first step and the last. All you have to do now is fill in the middle and you're on your way. It may be easier said than done, but think of how proud you'll feel.


Ang saya ng horoscope ko. It's true, all I have to do is fill the middle and I'll definitely reach the pinnacle. Kaunti na lang, 5 more semesters to go and I'll graduate. Just got to keep on going. I'm so happy, I didn't fail on Chem Lab! I really thought I wouldn't deserve to go to Med School if I fail another subject. Thank God! Parang napaka-driven ko pakinggan. Anyway, I haven't seen my grades though, sana wag naman puro 3. Hehehehe!

I'm glad I know exactly what I want to be! - a doctor, that is!

Although I still want to take classes on Creative Writing, Photography, European Studies, Political Science and Economics!!! I'll try to do everything in UP after Med or if I can, during Med!

Too many dreams nd yet, so limited money!

_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

I have been researching about dreams kasi nga I want to know the reasons behind my dreams.

Here's what I've found out:

Prophetic dreams, also referred to as precognitive dreams, are dreams that seemingly foretell the future. One rational theory to explain this phenomenon is that our dreaming mind is able to piece together bits of information and observation that we normally overlook or that we do not seriously consider. In other words, our unconscious mind knows what is coming before we consciously piece together the same information.

We are advised not to take our dreams too seriously, but rather to enjoy them for what they are – an essential part of our sleep process.

However, it is also true (or at least it is my belief that this is true) that most dreams are caused by what happens in our subconscious. Everybody has memories, thoughts, and feelings that they repress. We do this because the things we are repressing are not pleasant to us or because we can’t deal with them. One of the theories of why we dream states that the subconscious needs to “empty itself out”, but this cannot happen while we are awake because that would defeat the whole point of repression. We dream in symbolic form because if we dreamed literally what we were thinking, we would be so disturbed that we would wake up. By using symbols, your subconscious tries to protect your sleep. Also, if you do not understand the symbolism in a dream, you usually do not become aware of what it is that your subconscious is releasing. In some cases, this can protect your happiness (and sometimes even your sanity).

People also repress wishes. Many dreams are direct wish-fulfillment dreams. However, most people can’t consciously harbor a wish to get ready of somebody because this is not socially acceptable. (This happens most often with people we feel we’re supposed to love, like parents or siblings.) The wish becomes repressed and manifests itself in dreams.


_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Wah!!! Ang saya saya nung outing namin!!!

Whoohoo!!!

Past 4 na yata kami nakarating sa Batangas eh. Pero ayos lang masaya sa van!!! Laughtrip all the time!!! Tapos sa Tagaytay pa kami dumaan. Yihee!!! Wait, van-mates ko nga pala ang PK, si Ryan, Val, Jen at Faye. So aion. When we got there, umuulan ng konti tapos we changed clothes. Tambay tambay. Tapos duamting na yung dalawa pang vans.

Nagswimming kami agad. Ahahahahahaha! Nag-merienda ng spagetti. Tapos, swimming ulit, hanggang bago magdinner na yun. Then, nagluto na si Milet ng Chopsuey at nag-grill na sila Marion ng Liempo. Tapos sandamakmak pang pagkain. After naming magdinner, nagstart na yung bonfire. Tapos we were gathered around. Sharing na! Nagstart kay Johanna, nag-end sa akin. Habang sharing, whoohoo, umiinom yung iba nung pinapa-ikot na Empi at Iced Tea. Hehehehe!!! Bagsak sina Dottie at Ryan, si Bea, Val, Faye at Milet naman bangag bangag din. Si Nikki, sadyang hyper pati si Mico. Wakekekeke. Tapos yun, mga 2+ am na kami natapos mag-sharing. Kung iniisip niyong matutulog na, NO NO NO! Kung anu-ano pang kabalbalan ang pinaggagagawa namin. May mga nagbabaraha, nagkkwentuhan, nag-iinuman, nagsasayawan, atbp.

4:30 na nga ako nakatulog sa labas pa ng room. Ahahahaha!!! Andun ako sa may basketball court kasama sila Hershey na nagbabaraha. When I woke up, wala na yata akong katabi tapos it's only 5:30!!! Ang liwal-liwanag na! Ang dami ding hindi natulog katulad ni Hershey, Karlo, Seska at Ryan. Yun, tapos nung 6, ginising ko na si president kasi mamamalengke pa sila. Then, natulog ako ulit sa labas pa rin, at sa may basketball court ulit. Tapos dumating si Val at umupo dun sa mga chairs na katabi ng hinihigaan ko. I slept until dumating na sila president, so more or less, 30 mins. Ahehehehehe!!! Nagluto naman ng breakfast sina Marion, Meg at sorry, ndi ko maalala. Ako naman, andun pa rin, nagssight-seeing. Hehehe. After naming magbreakfast, nagswimming kami ulit ni Bea, so mga 8 am na yun. Then before lunch, naglaro yung buong class ng parang mini-Olympics, prepared by Sherry. Hahahaha, nakakakatawa silang panoorin, sayang hindi ako kasali. Huhu! Anyway, group nila Nikki, Ezeck, Matet, Dottie at Missy yung nanalo. Then nagluch na. Ang mga chef, sina Ponchie at Marion. So pansin ko lang, forever nagluto si Marion. Hehehehe, sipag naman! Ay, tinulungan ko nga pala si Ponchie na gutayin yung pork sa Pork Teriyaki. Ahahahaha, lasog-lasog na yung mga meat. Hehehe! After lunch, nagswimming lami ulit. Ahahahahaha!!! Tanghaling tapat kaya may sun-burn ako at ang lips ko ay todong mahapdi. Anyway, nagcharades kami under water. Hehehehe, hulaan ng melody underwater din. Umahon kami mga more or less 2 pm. na. Pulang pula ako after maligo at hanggang ngayon, grabe!!! Nagkkwentuhan, kantahan at tawanan na lang kami hangang 5 pm.

Nauna umalis sina Benj kasi may agenda pa daw siya, tapos sinamahan kami nila JB na maghintay nung van namin, 6 pm na kami nakaalis. 10 na yata ako dumating dito sa house eh. Hehehehehe!!! Tulog kaming lahat sa biyahe pauwi. Hay. Super saya talaga!

I thought there would never come a time that I can freely express whatever thoughts bombard my mind pero I was able to do it in our "team building."

2B, sa uulitin!!! Thanks and sorry sa lahat ha, hehehe! Let's all congratulate ourselves for the jobs greatly done!!! Whoohoo! Enjoy your sembreak, mamimiss ko kaiong lahat! Mwah!!! I love 2B!!!

_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

I thought everything was going well for us, hindi ko inakalang may mga taong may sama ng loob sa atin.

Bwahahaha, ang sagwa pag tagalog!

So, as I was typing, I never thought they would think something like that friends, alam niyo na to! If they prefer people who'd encourage them to be drunk and be merry, go ahead! I just can't wait to see their lives burn into ashes. Don't they even realize that those kinds of people are the ones who'd most likely mess up in college?! Okay, a little exaggerated. Pero hello!?!?! Troublemakers and self-confessed KSP yung mga yun. If they're looking for wild adventures and probable accident, let's leave them alone. I bet before we know it and after they've realized what they have tken for granted, they'll be crawling their way back to us.

Just a question, is not being sophisticated and being prudent bad?! Does being able to go anywhere outside the city makes you more adult?

Fooling our around doesn't mean you don't take things seriously. Not going over board your limitations doesn't mean you're childish. Not abusing your freedom doesn't mean you're a sucker and boring!

Damn those people who thinks otherwise!!!


_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

I've been having a series of dreams about someone. Wah! Freaky!

First, he called me something, then our hands were clasped together. The most recent one, which I dreamed yesterday, our hands were interlocked/interlaced with each other. Oh, diba?! Gradual!

Sabi sa Psych, wish fulfillment lang daw yun. However, Jarl's been have similar dreams and her dreams happened in reality last Monday!!! Creepy talaga!

Yesterday, I've seen my grade sa Theories of Personality, major subject, I really thought I was going to flunk kasi I haven't been doing nicely sa mga previous tests but my grade turned out to be okay. Statistics na lang major problem ko and of course, Chemistry Lec and Lab!!!

Anyway, Jarl and I went to Gateway yesterday! Hehehehe!!! Biglaang yayaan lang. We watched "Undiscovered", maganda naman kaya lang may mga lines kaming hindi na-gets pero ayos lang. Nalagas yung laman ng wallet ko, as in yung 500 ko for the outing ng block namin, wala na, mag-iipon na naman ako. I bought a gift for Patricia sa NafNaf, oh diba, ang tarush?! Hahahaha, Jarl, secret lang natin yun ha. Tapos, since we were so lazy and tired to go home, nag-cab kami. Ahahahaha! She dropped me off sa house.

Speaking of Pat's birthday, wala pa akong damit, semi-formal. Baka I'll just borrow Jarl's black dress. Wakekekekeke!!! Got to go, bibili ako ng bagong calculator kasi nasira ko yung kay Angie. Kuya, borrow nung money ha! Thanks!

Munch. Munch.

_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Hay! Nakakaloka ang aking horoscope for today.

You being the romantic, it won't be difficult to entice that certain companion to join you -- the one who'll be more than happy to pretend not to rush over the moment you call.

Woah! Sino kaya yun?!

Oo nga pala, I'm having dreams about someone twice. First, he called me a certain term of endearment; second, we were holding hands. Aba naman! Ano 'to, premonitions?!

I read/learned that dreams are somehow from the unconscious, could it be that I'm really really falling for that someone?

_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Damn!!! It's so difficult to have a sister like mine. Bullshit! She embodies almost all the traits I hate in a girl. She's a flirt, talking to a lesbian at 11 pm upto what?! past 1 in the morning. She's intoxicatingly inconsiderate, leaving me in the store when I'm finishing all my papers due the next day. She's so stubborn and lazy, not studying for their tests when she's already failing. Would you believe, she haven't turned in all her application forms?! She's only trying out for FEU and UST and I don't even think she have a chance with UST. She doesn't have any future. She's so stupid and so maarte! Wah! She thinks she's all that when in fact, she's rotten inside! I hate her!!! Darn! She's the root of all misunderstanding and fights dito sa house. Hay, real pain in the ass!

I hope she gets to read this!!!

Oh yeah, she's for sale, whoever wants her, contact me. My brother and I already predicted that she'll either be an unwed mother or she'll engage in pre-marital sex. Hahahahaha!


_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost