Sad. Sad. Sad.
Why does everything always happen at the same time?
My parents vanished. My phone lost. My friend is not fine with my company and thinks I'm a social climber. My grades are going haywire.
My life's thrown to a graveyard of defeat and failure. And now, my body is also willing to die and perish, to rot in purgatory or hell or if God permits, to linger in heaven.
What the ****?!
My parents? I don't really care about them.
My phone? I'm used to it.
My friend? That hurts! That hurts really bad. First time I heard her reason, my heart was clouded with darkness, up until now, when I think of it, it becomes hard for me to breathe in. It made me doubt myself, and that sucks because this is the second time a close friend doubted my loyalty. The feeling is unfathomable. I failed to bear it bravely without shedding a tear but as I have said, I failed. I broke into sobs then I shed a river, profusely flowing on my cheeks. My throat, waterless. My mind, blank. I’m not sure what to think. I just kept on sobbing and sobbing at my brother’s bed, it's my refuge. I can’t even write. I can't even reach the ONLY person I want to talk to. Isn’t it sad that when you have so much pain in your heart and you want to talk, the only person who can stop you from crying is out of sight? Hay.
Darkness came over me. Everything’s blurry. I have to repress everything to be able to carry on.
Questions. Questions. Questions.
In what way was I being “sosyal”? Wasn’t it a given fact that I’m close to them? And it doesn’t mean that when I am laughing, I am happy, guess, a real friend should know that. I’m disappointed because she should have known me better than that. And I’m being “sosyal”? How’s that? She needs to explain because I can comprehend. But how could I ask her to when she doesn’t talk to me just because she doesn’t feel like talking to me.
Hay.
The pain. The despair.
It’s clouding me… again.
hurting
26 March 2006
quotable quotes
25 March 2006
I have read the scrip of the Dead Poet's Soceity and I loved it. I quoted some unique and meaningful quotes:
"This is battle, boys. War! You are souls at a critical juncture. Either you will succumb to the will of hoi polloi and the fruit will die on the vine--or you will triumph as individuals. It may be a coincidence that part of my duties are to teach you about Romanticism, but let me assure you that I take the task quite seriously. You will learn what this school wants you to learn in my class, but if I do my job properly, you will also learn a great deal more. You will learn to savor language and words because they are the stepping stones to everything you might endeavor to do in life and do well."
"Well, I say drivel! One reads poetry because he is a member of the human race and the human race is filled with passion! Medicine, Law, Banking-these are necessary to sustain life-but poetry, romance, love, beauty! These are what we stay alive for. I read from Whitman. Oh me, Oh life of the questions of these recurring. OF the endless trains of the faithless of cities filled with the foolish... skipping... What good amid these O me, O life? Answer: That you are here- That life exists and identity That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
"The millions are awake enough for Physical labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine life. To be awake is to be alive."
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
"Try never to think about anything the same way twice. If you're sure about something, force yourself to think about it another way, even if you know it's wrong or silly. When you read, don't consider only what the author thinks, but take the time to consider what you think. You must strive to find your own voice, boys, and the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." I ask, why be resigned to that? Risk walking new ground. Now. A flame in your hearts could change the world, lads. Nurture it."
"Absolutely, Mr. Dalton, there is elegance in mathematics. If everyone wrote poetry, the planet would starve, for God's sake. But there must be poetry--and we must stop to notice it--in even the simplest acts of living, or we will have wasted the truly wonderful opportunity that life as human beings offers us."
"Truth... Truth is like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold."
"What it demonstrates is how difficult it is for any of us to listen to our own voice or maintain our own beliefs in the presence of others. If any of you believe you would have marched differently, then ask yourself why you participated in the clapping. Lads, there is a great need in all of us to be accepted. However, that need can be like a nasty current, whisking us away unless we're strong and determined swimmers. Don't insist on the separate path simply to be different or contrary, but trust what is unique about yourselves even if it's odd or unpopular. As Mr. Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.""
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
"This is battle, boys. War! You are souls at a critical juncture. Either you will succumb to the will of hoi polloi and the fruit will die on the vine--or you will triumph as individuals. It may be a coincidence that part of my duties are to teach you about Romanticism, but let me assure you that I take the task quite seriously. You will learn what this school wants you to learn in my class, but if I do my job properly, you will also learn a great deal more. You will learn to savor language and words because they are the stepping stones to everything you might endeavor to do in life and do well."
"Well, I say drivel! One reads poetry because he is a member of the human race and the human race is filled with passion! Medicine, Law, Banking-these are necessary to sustain life-but poetry, romance, love, beauty! These are what we stay alive for. I read from Whitman. Oh me, Oh life of the questions of these recurring. OF the endless trains of the faithless of cities filled with the foolish... skipping... What good amid these O me, O life? Answer: That you are here- That life exists and identity That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
"The millions are awake enough for Physical labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine life. To be awake is to be alive."
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
"Try never to think about anything the same way twice. If you're sure about something, force yourself to think about it another way, even if you know it's wrong or silly. When you read, don't consider only what the author thinks, but take the time to consider what you think. You must strive to find your own voice, boys, and the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation." I ask, why be resigned to that? Risk walking new ground. Now. A flame in your hearts could change the world, lads. Nurture it."
"Absolutely, Mr. Dalton, there is elegance in mathematics. If everyone wrote poetry, the planet would starve, for God's sake. But there must be poetry--and we must stop to notice it--in even the simplest acts of living, or we will have wasted the truly wonderful opportunity that life as human beings offers us."
"Truth... Truth is like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold."
"What it demonstrates is how difficult it is for any of us to listen to our own voice or maintain our own beliefs in the presence of others. If any of you believe you would have marched differently, then ask yourself why you participated in the clapping. Lads, there is a great need in all of us to be accepted. However, that need can be like a nasty current, whisking us away unless we're strong and determined swimmers. Don't insist on the separate path simply to be different or contrary, but trust what is unique about yourselves even if it's odd or unpopular. As Mr. Robert Frost said, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I... I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.""
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
march
Summer vacation na pero bago ko magsaya (kung magsasaya nga ako), ito muna ang mga nangyari:
Randall week (04 March - 11 March)
Huminto ang mundo ko dahil sa nangyari, promise. I failed to turn in a lot of papers. I flunked a lot of quizzes. Maraming days na tulala ako. Wakekeke. Si Randall naman kasi. Anyway, buong week, I never failed to visit St. Peter's sa Quezon Ave.. Every mass din, I my tears never fail to fall down on my cheeks. Hay.
Hell Week (13 March - 17 March)
Wah. Natambakan na ako ng mga gawain. Formal Report sa ChemLab. Reports on Psychometrics Lec and Educ Psych. Lit pa na Journals and Doodles. Quizzes everyday. Nanganganib pa ako Chem Lec at Lab. Psych Report about Matet. Summary nung Psych Tests ko. Hay, buti naka-survive pa ako. Ang saklap saklap talaga.
March 18: Birthday ni Ruby Ann.
I lost my cellphone. Wahahahaha. I lost it in Starbucks Tomas Morato. It vanished. No joke. I placed it right beside me and then when I was looking for it, it's gone. Mjen and I were bewildered. It's very weird, to think we are in Starbucks and we were seated on the sofa at the corner near the Guard! Wahahaha. It is so incomprehensible.
Finals Week (20 March - 23 March)
Stats Lec and Lab last Monday. Mali yung formula na ginamit ko for the Computation part worth 30 points yata. With regards to Stat Lab, corny, almost all the questions ask to tell the if the values are significant or not, whether to reject or accept Ho. Wahahaha. Next day, Chem Lec and Lab. Wuhuhuhuhu... kung nadalian ako kahapon, naiyak naman ako ngayon. Good bye Medicine! Ang hirap hirap. Addict yung gumawa nung tests namin. First time kong natagalan sa room, 3rd ako to the last, huhuhuhu! I visited 2 different churches that day, sa Sto. Domingo and twice sa Santissimo Rosario (UST Church). Huhuhuhuhu.. walang hanggang huhuhuhuhu. Third day, Psychomet Lec and Lab. Ok lang, hindi siya yung inaasahan kong test namin, akala ko mahirap. With Lab, application lang, nakakatuwa talaga. Last day, wahahaha, hindi na ako masyadong nag-aral. Educ Psych and Lit. Ok lang, hindi naman ako siguro babagsak dun. Hehehehe.
Sa week na 'to, ang daming nangyayari sa PK. I have this strange feeling na galit sa akin si Milet. Then, Matet and Hersh had a misunderstanding. Buti na lang, nilibre ako ni Karlo ng Zagu nung last day, mababaliw ako. Sa last day, since walang plans, nag-SM San Lazaro kami nila Missy, Seska and Bea. Wakekeke, nagpa-picture sa Kameraworld at nag-lunch sa Goldilocks. Dapat mag-oovernight kaming lahat kina Seska nung firday night pero hindi na natuloy kasi hindi rin kami kumpleto.
Today, Saturday, Chumps at Chups are on their way to Pangasinan. Wah! Mag-ingat please! Birthday din today ni Ate Mabs and Clarence Pizarro. Happy Birthday!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Randall week (04 March - 11 March)
Huminto ang mundo ko dahil sa nangyari, promise. I failed to turn in a lot of papers. I flunked a lot of quizzes. Maraming days na tulala ako. Wakekeke. Si Randall naman kasi. Anyway, buong week, I never failed to visit St. Peter's sa Quezon Ave.. Every mass din, I my tears never fail to fall down on my cheeks. Hay.
Hell Week (13 March - 17 March)
Wah. Natambakan na ako ng mga gawain. Formal Report sa ChemLab. Reports on Psychometrics Lec and Educ Psych. Lit pa na Journals and Doodles. Quizzes everyday. Nanganganib pa ako Chem Lec at Lab. Psych Report about Matet. Summary nung Psych Tests ko. Hay, buti naka-survive pa ako. Ang saklap saklap talaga.
March 18: Birthday ni Ruby Ann.
I lost my cellphone. Wahahahaha. I lost it in Starbucks Tomas Morato. It vanished. No joke. I placed it right beside me and then when I was looking for it, it's gone. Mjen and I were bewildered. It's very weird, to think we are in Starbucks and we were seated on the sofa at the corner near the Guard! Wahahaha. It is so incomprehensible.
Finals Week (20 March - 23 March)
Stats Lec and Lab last Monday. Mali yung formula na ginamit ko for the Computation part worth 30 points yata. With regards to Stat Lab, corny, almost all the questions ask to tell the if the values are significant or not, whether to reject or accept Ho. Wahahaha. Next day, Chem Lec and Lab. Wuhuhuhuhu... kung nadalian ako kahapon, naiyak naman ako ngayon. Good bye Medicine! Ang hirap hirap. Addict yung gumawa nung tests namin. First time kong natagalan sa room, 3rd ako to the last, huhuhuhu! I visited 2 different churches that day, sa Sto. Domingo and twice sa Santissimo Rosario (UST Church). Huhuhuhuhu.. walang hanggang huhuhuhuhu. Third day, Psychomet Lec and Lab. Ok lang, hindi siya yung inaasahan kong test namin, akala ko mahirap. With Lab, application lang, nakakatuwa talaga. Last day, wahahaha, hindi na ako masyadong nag-aral. Educ Psych and Lit. Ok lang, hindi naman ako siguro babagsak dun. Hehehehe.
Sa week na 'to, ang daming nangyayari sa PK. I have this strange feeling na galit sa akin si Milet. Then, Matet and Hersh had a misunderstanding. Buti na lang, nilibre ako ni Karlo ng Zagu nung last day, mababaliw ako. Sa last day, since walang plans, nag-SM San Lazaro kami nila Missy, Seska and Bea. Wakekeke, nagpa-picture sa Kameraworld at nag-lunch sa Goldilocks. Dapat mag-oovernight kaming lahat kina Seska nung firday night pero hindi na natuloy kasi hindi rin kami kumpleto.
Today, Saturday, Chumps at Chups are on their way to Pangasinan. Wah! Mag-ingat please! Birthday din today ni Ate Mabs and Clarence Pizarro. Happy Birthday!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
for a friend
05 March 2006
My dear friend, Randall, just passed away last night, 04 March.
Dude, you're one of the people I will never forget.
Your kindness is genuine and overflowing.
Condolences to the whole Antolin family, especially to Sid, and his loved ones.
he flew to the loving arms of the Almighty... let us be thankful that he will forever be in peace!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Dude, you're one of the people I will never forget.
Your kindness is genuine and overflowing.
Condolences to the whole Antolin family, especially to Sid, and his loved ones.
he flew to the loving arms of the Almighty... let us be thankful that he will forever be in peace!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
wishful thinking
04 March 2006
Love sucks. It may be that magical feeling they're talking about but it hurts. Sometimes, it even hurts more. Especially when it is only you who is doing all the loving, unrequited.
FALLING INTO YOU (Celine Dion)
And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"
I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you
I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can't be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can't even see the ground
Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are
Catch me, don't let me drop!
Love me, don't ever stop!
So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you
Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are
Falling into you
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
FALLING INTO YOU (Celine Dion)
And in your eyes I see ribbons of color
I see us inside of each other
I feel my unconscious merge with yours
And I hear a voice say, "What's his is hers"
I'm falling into you
This dream could come true
And it feels so good falling into you
I was afraid to let you in here
Now I have learned love can't be made in fear
The walls begin to tumble down
And I can't even see the ground
Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are
Catch me, don't let me drop!
Love me, don't ever stop!
So close your eyes and let me kiss you
And while you sleep I will miss you
Falling like a leaf, falling like a star
Finding a belief, falling where you are
Falling into you
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
sniff
01 March 2006
barkada ko
Kailan kaya kami muling makukumpleto?
Last na kumpleto kami, nung birthday ko pa, ndi pa tayo nakapag-pa-picture. Hmp.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
the dream
I had another dream which is still in relation with my previous series. I dreamt about it last Sunday, 26 February.
Wahahahaha! It may sound crazy but he kissed me on the cheek because I was so furious and frustrated about my group's report. He told me, "love you", then Milet was laughing at our back so I just hugged him while dragging him to the side of the room. Hahahaha! I even saw Chirstian Nuevas, he was about to ride a jeepney going to Proj.2&3. Weird. That's it.
By the way, last night, 28 February, Kat and I met up at Starbucks Tomas Morato then we transferred to West Ave. Eda came. So malamang, wala nang nangyari, hindi na kami nakapag-aral ni Kat. After a while, si Pierre naman! Whoohoo. Semi-reunion ba ito??? Ang saya, namiss ko silang dalawa ng todo, siyempre, to think si Pierre pa. Hehehehe!Saddy sad sad nga siya eh because he just broke up with Kean. Kawawa naman, hindi daw siya nakatulog. Ay naku, it's the girl's lost not his. Cheer up, my dear! Andyan naman si My Labs mo! Bwhahahaha! We left after 9pm because Eda had to projects to work on and I have to study for Educ Psych.
So happy day!!! Pansin niyo, "they're all coming back to me now..."
Hahahahaha!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Wahahahaha! It may sound crazy but he kissed me on the cheek because I was so furious and frustrated about my group's report. He told me, "love you", then Milet was laughing at our back so I just hugged him while dragging him to the side of the room. Hahahaha! I even saw Chirstian Nuevas, he was about to ride a jeepney going to Proj.2&3. Weird. That's it.
By the way, last night, 28 February, Kat and I met up at Starbucks Tomas Morato then we transferred to West Ave. Eda came. So malamang, wala nang nangyari, hindi na kami nakapag-aral ni Kat. After a while, si Pierre naman! Whoohoo. Semi-reunion ba ito??? Ang saya, namiss ko silang dalawa ng todo, siyempre, to think si Pierre pa. Hehehehe!Saddy sad sad nga siya eh because he just broke up with Kean. Kawawa naman, hindi daw siya nakatulog. Ay naku, it's the girl's lost not his. Cheer up, my dear! Andyan naman si My Labs mo! Bwhahahaha! We left after 9pm because Eda had to projects to work on and I have to study for Educ Psych.
So happy day!!! Pansin niyo, "they're all coming back to me now..."
Hahahahaha!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
