*long, deep, heavy sigh*
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
deep sigh
20 June 2006
I'm feeling depressed.
*long, deep, heavy sigh*
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
*long, deep, heavy sigh*
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
game one
09 June 2006
Wah. NBA Finals na!!! Hmmm. Who thought from highschool that I would be a basketball fan in college?! Hahaha! Anyway, at this very moment, I am watching the first game of the NBA Finals. It’s Dallas Mavericks versus Miami Heat. I haven’t watched NBA for the past years but I think I’m rooting for Dallas in this game!!! Hehehe!
Wait, this entry may seem offbeat because I am simultaneously watching and I still have a lot to learn about basketball, ok?! Bear with me.
They’re now in the 4th quarter with 9 minutes remaining. Dallas is leading by 7. Shaq O’neal from Miami, is on the court. :p Jason Carey of Dallas is on fire!!! He has scored 30 points. Oh, shit. Shaq shot 2 consecutive dunk shots; he only has 16 points by this time. But, Dallas is still leading, 82 – 76.
Commercials. I hate them. Why do they have to cut when the show is on its peak??? Especially, with regards to basketball; everything is spontaneous and nobody knows when a slam dunk or an impossible steal would happen.
Back to the game, shiyet, may natalisod pa from Dallas. Ano ba?! Drop pass from Wade (Miami), darn! Oh dam! Si Wade, lying on the floor because of that steal; now, he’s on free throw line. And he sucks at it. Miami shoots only 30% on the free throw. Harris got fouled; now, on free throw. 82 – 79. Argh. Jason Terry fell down after blocking Shaq. He’s on free throw, throws and scores!!!! Whoopee, 2 free throws in! 86 – 79, 2 minutes remaining. Peyton out, Williams in. Stockhouse throws, scores 2! 18 seconds to go.
Wham! Dallas wins!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Wait, this entry may seem offbeat because I am simultaneously watching and I still have a lot to learn about basketball, ok?! Bear with me.
They’re now in the 4th quarter with 9 minutes remaining. Dallas is leading by 7. Shaq O’neal from Miami, is on the court. :p Jason Carey of Dallas is on fire!!! He has scored 30 points. Oh, shit. Shaq shot 2 consecutive dunk shots; he only has 16 points by this time. But, Dallas is still leading, 82 – 76.
Commercials. I hate them. Why do they have to cut when the show is on its peak??? Especially, with regards to basketball; everything is spontaneous and nobody knows when a slam dunk or an impossible steal would happen.
Back to the game, shiyet, may natalisod pa from Dallas. Ano ba?! Drop pass from Wade (Miami), darn! Oh dam! Si Wade, lying on the floor because of that steal; now, he’s on free throw line. And he sucks at it. Miami shoots only 30% on the free throw. Harris got fouled; now, on free throw. 82 – 79. Argh. Jason Terry fell down after blocking Shaq. He’s on free throw, throws and scores!!!! Whoopee, 2 free throws in! 86 – 79, 2 minutes remaining. Peyton out, Williams in. Stockhouse throws, scores 2! 18 seconds to go.
Wham! Dallas wins!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
plain sadness
05 June 2006
Entry dated 10th of May 2006
Did you ever felt really sad? Sad meaning it seems like nothing is working out and everything that used to work out doesn’t even matter anymore. I am feeling that now. I no longer know what to do. I no longer want to interact with people. All I ever do is weep and cry in silence. Some unshed tears block my visions.
And I don’t seem to have enough courage to fight everything back. It’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep because of my sadness. I wouldn’t even want to sleep; I just have to force myself because I have to live the day. I can’t even have the guts to plea for help. I’m all alone and it seems like I’ll be alone forever.
Ever felt sad with no particular reason? It’s weird. Crying because of nothing.
I’m glad for A because he no longer feels this damn depression that as taken over me now. But, I pity myself for not being able to stay happy when I was. I’m so fucking happy that you’re happy A. I’m joyful that things are finally going your way – academics and you got your new girl right there beside you. At least, you got somebody to talk to or that would divert your sadness when it mocks you. At least, you are sure you are excelling in a field you choose.
But me, what do I have? I’m crawling through my college life. My friends find it so darn easy to take me for granted. So tell me, what do I have??? My cell and iPod malfunction helplessly; my cousins are far away; my parents are mainly my employers; my brother and sisters doesn’t even hear me out.
God, help!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Did you ever felt really sad? Sad meaning it seems like nothing is working out and everything that used to work out doesn’t even matter anymore. I am feeling that now. I no longer know what to do. I no longer want to interact with people. All I ever do is weep and cry in silence. Some unshed tears block my visions.
And I don’t seem to have enough courage to fight everything back. It’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep because of my sadness. I wouldn’t even want to sleep; I just have to force myself because I have to live the day. I can’t even have the guts to plea for help. I’m all alone and it seems like I’ll be alone forever.
Ever felt sad with no particular reason? It’s weird. Crying because of nothing.
I’m glad for A because he no longer feels this damn depression that as taken over me now. But, I pity myself for not being able to stay happy when I was. I’m so fucking happy that you’re happy A. I’m joyful that things are finally going your way – academics and you got your new girl right there beside you. At least, you got somebody to talk to or that would divert your sadness when it mocks you. At least, you are sure you are excelling in a field you choose.
But me, what do I have? I’m crawling through my college life. My friends find it so darn easy to take me for granted. So tell me, what do I have??? My cell and iPod malfunction helplessly; my cousins are far away; my parents are mainly my employers; my brother and sisters doesn’t even hear me out.
God, help!
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
chat with A
Entry dated 29th day of April 2006
Last night, I got to chat with A. We had to cut it short because he’s disconnecting and I was about to eat dinner.
There are some people who feel you are with them even if you haven’t seen each other for ages. It might seem strange because A and I had only been acquainted for a short time and yet, I feel I can share anything to him. There are even things only he knows, about me. I told him things I never shared to my best friend. Perhaps, its really more comfortable sharing to a stranger – although that doesn’t make him a stranger now. Having a friend you don’t see, talk and text every week is surprisingly beautiful because you get to talk about a whole lot of stuff and never get tired of hearing the same thing over again.
What makes chatting with A different from chatting with everyone else? Chatting with him is one of the sweetest things I like looking forward to. We can talk about basketball, girls, guys, gays, love, life, death and a lot more. It doesn’t even get uncomfortable like when I chat with my other friends. It isn’t disturbing when he replies late. With him, we “share”, he says something then he asks me what I think. With him, I’m myself. I can even be very vocal and not worry on what he’ll think. I can be unconventional with all he cares. I can blurt out every bad word I know, without thinking, and he wouldn’t care. We could practically criticize every person in this planet. I love the way we criticize people, it is very different from R, who’s so juvenile and harsh. I like that he could tell me all his mishaps and difficulties. I love that he tells me how badly he treats girls; that he’s now going for girls he doesn’t love and is younger. He wasn’t hesitant to share those things to me.
When we chat, it’s just real. No pretensions, just our plain, marvelous selves.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
Last night, I got to chat with A. We had to cut it short because he’s disconnecting and I was about to eat dinner.
There are some people who feel you are with them even if you haven’t seen each other for ages. It might seem strange because A and I had only been acquainted for a short time and yet, I feel I can share anything to him. There are even things only he knows, about me. I told him things I never shared to my best friend. Perhaps, its really more comfortable sharing to a stranger – although that doesn’t make him a stranger now. Having a friend you don’t see, talk and text every week is surprisingly beautiful because you get to talk about a whole lot of stuff and never get tired of hearing the same thing over again.
What makes chatting with A different from chatting with everyone else? Chatting with him is one of the sweetest things I like looking forward to. We can talk about basketball, girls, guys, gays, love, life, death and a lot more. It doesn’t even get uncomfortable like when I chat with my other friends. It isn’t disturbing when he replies late. With him, we “share”, he says something then he asks me what I think. With him, I’m myself. I can even be very vocal and not worry on what he’ll think. I can be unconventional with all he cares. I can blurt out every bad word I know, without thinking, and he wouldn’t care. We could practically criticize every person in this planet. I love the way we criticize people, it is very different from R, who’s so juvenile and harsh. I like that he could tell me all his mishaps and difficulties. I love that he tells me how badly he treats girls; that he’s now going for girls he doesn’t love and is younger. He wasn’t hesitant to share those things to me.
When we chat, it’s just real. No pretensions, just our plain, marvelous selves.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
unpublished tales
I found my MSWord Diary. Hehehe! Yes, a diary in MS Word. I made one because it's a lot easier to type than to write. Here's an entry:
07 April 2006
Sad. Sad. Sad.
One can never be really happy. I’m skeptical that any happiness could really last. I was nourishing happy thoughts only to find out that I am exceedingly sad. And this sadness cause tears enough to wet, partially, my pillow case.
One can never be thoroughly contented, it’s the human nature.
Thinking about:
Med. Are you really possible?! Is it really possible for me to be a doctor? This is bad; I’m doubting my own capabilities. I’m afraid I wouldn’t make it. I’m afraid I wouldn’t have the guts to face every single predicament that will come my way. I’m afraid of having financial constraints, of losing my ambition, of failing, of not achieving my ideals. I’m afraid of everything.
Damned ‘Rents. I hate you. And I am hating you more and more each day. You don’t know how heavy it gets just listening to your ran tings. You haven’t got the slightest idea of what we’re going through. Everything I think about your bullshits just pile up within me and someday, I will blow up. I will leave this damned place and go far away. I will live the life God has really planned for me because this isn’t it; He never wanted me to be this miserable. I do not know why He entrusted me to you but I know He has His own reasons. This life I have spent with you will greatly contribute to my life in the future and I bet I’d be happier and contented. I am not hating because of your restrictions, those are fine with me, it’s normal for everybody. What I am hating are your rigid minds, your traditional thinking. You want us to be like you, to live the lifestyle you lived decades ago like waking up early in the morning to help with the house choirs, working our bones out to help the family, offering help even if it isn’t really necessary. That is not us, and that can never be us. Times have changed and that change changed everything, lifestyle, personality of the people, our thinking, everything have changed. Change is really the only thing permanent in this world. And you should learn to adapt to changes. You shouldn’t expect us to wake at 7pm during summer time and work. You shouldn’t yell at us for talking to a friend on the phone. And it would be a lot better if you would also befriend our friends because at our stage, nothing is more important than affiliations.
Don’t inhibit me to get the hell out of here because the more you make me stay, the more you nourish my hatred towards you.
Bow.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
07 April 2006
Sad. Sad. Sad.
One can never be really happy. I’m skeptical that any happiness could really last. I was nourishing happy thoughts only to find out that I am exceedingly sad. And this sadness cause tears enough to wet, partially, my pillow case.
One can never be thoroughly contented, it’s the human nature.
Thinking about:
Med. Are you really possible?! Is it really possible for me to be a doctor? This is bad; I’m doubting my own capabilities. I’m afraid I wouldn’t make it. I’m afraid I wouldn’t have the guts to face every single predicament that will come my way. I’m afraid of having financial constraints, of losing my ambition, of failing, of not achieving my ideals. I’m afraid of everything.
Damned ‘Rents. I hate you. And I am hating you more and more each day. You don’t know how heavy it gets just listening to your ran tings. You haven’t got the slightest idea of what we’re going through. Everything I think about your bullshits just pile up within me and someday, I will blow up. I will leave this damned place and go far away. I will live the life God has really planned for me because this isn’t it; He never wanted me to be this miserable. I do not know why He entrusted me to you but I know He has His own reasons. This life I have spent with you will greatly contribute to my life in the future and I bet I’d be happier and contented. I am not hating because of your restrictions, those are fine with me, it’s normal for everybody. What I am hating are your rigid minds, your traditional thinking. You want us to be like you, to live the lifestyle you lived decades ago like waking up early in the morning to help with the house choirs, working our bones out to help the family, offering help even if it isn’t really necessary. That is not us, and that can never be us. Times have changed and that change changed everything, lifestyle, personality of the people, our thinking, everything have changed. Change is really the only thing permanent in this world. And you should learn to adapt to changes. You shouldn’t expect us to wake at 7pm during summer time and work. You shouldn’t yell at us for talking to a friend on the phone. And it would be a lot better if you would also befriend our friends because at our stage, nothing is more important than affiliations.
Don’t inhibit me to get the hell out of here because the more you make me stay, the more you nourish my hatred towards you.
Bow.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
keys to my heart
04 June 2006
| The Keys to Your Heart |
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
found him
03 June 2006
Have you ever felt so happy because you have found the one that you have been looking for for years?
I just did!!!
No, it isn't a boyfriend! I found my bestest guy friend from gradeschool!!! Isn't that great?!?!?! What's better is that he's sister was the one who added me in Myspace. Whoohoo!! Ang saya 'no?! Hehehe. So I asked his sister's YM ID and Im waiting for her to go online right now. Hehehe.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
I just did!!!
No, it isn't a boyfriend! I found my bestest guy friend from gradeschool!!! Isn't that great?!?!?! What's better is that he's sister was the one who added me in Myspace. Whoohoo!! Ang saya 'no?! Hehehe. So I asked his sister's YM ID and Im waiting for her to go online right now. Hehehe.
_____________________________________
Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
