Did you ever felt really sad? Sad meaning it seems like nothing is working out and everything that used to work out doesn’t even matter anymore. I am feeling that now. I no longer know what to do. I no longer want to interact with people. All I ever do is weep and cry in silence. Some unshed tears block my visions.
And I don’t seem to have enough courage to fight everything back. It’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep because of my sadness. I wouldn’t even want to sleep; I just have to force myself because I have to live the day. I can’t even have the guts to plea for help. I’m all alone and it seems like I’ll be alone forever.
Ever felt sad with no particular reason? It’s weird. Crying because of nothing.
I’m glad for A because he no longer feels this damn depression that as taken over me now. But, I pity myself for not being able to stay happy when I was. I’m so fucking happy that you’re happy A. I’m joyful that things are finally going your way – academics and you got your new girl right there beside you. At least, you got somebody to talk to or that would divert your sadness when it mocks you. At least, you are sure you are excelling in a field you choose.
But me, what do I have? I’m crawling through my college life. My friends find it so darn easy to take me for granted. So tell me, what do I have??? My cell and iPod malfunction helplessly; my cousins are far away; my parents are mainly my employers; my brother and sisters doesn’t even hear me out.
God, help!
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Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
