My life, for the past few days, had been fine. No heartaches. No cries. No clutching of rosary beneath my pillow. No sadness.
But, of course, that can't continue for long.
Last night, I got a text from Jarl which really freaked me out. It was basically about her death. Before, as a very close friend know, I had suicidal tendencies, fortunately I surpassed with flying colors, so to think, I shouldn't be new to this. However, it was really the other way around. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast and it seemed impossible to breath freely. I was crazily texting Jarl, calling her cellphone everytime I am not texting and dialing their landline. She never answered. And I freaked out more. I texted Karl, called Debs and Ayel. She wasn't in contact with any of them. I was crushed, can't think clearly as I was also reading my hand-outs for Abnormal Psychology. I can't bear to think about everything all at the same time. Then, here comes another blow. The mom of one of my barkada (can't name yet) is terminally ill. Fcuk shit!
It's insane. I can't think of another possible loss this year, not even months after Randall's going-to-heaven. I can't. Not another loss. It's too much.
Last night, I was talking to Dall. It was pretty weird because I never really talked to him in person that long and yet, I was hanging on to him last night. I told him, he's everyone's angel now and shit, he should, please please, take very good care of everybody. Hay, the pain of death and absence and longing. Lord, please, not anymore, not in the near future!
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Two roads divereged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
